Blue Muse

Once more I feel the fates conspiring. In fact it's been an Eeyore week this week. Always blue.

Perhaps it’s the weather which at 12 Celsius in the middle of the day has me Pashmina’d and Trench coated ‘inside’.  Perhaps it’s my peer at work who has the communication skills of a giraffe (you know they don’t make a noise?) Perhaps it’s that my son has just lost his job or that my daughter’s best friends are loved up and couply,  overseas or like her best 'single' friend, heading that way. Perhaps it’s the temporary departure of my muse and sweet friend who has been the light of my evenings for the past four months. Perhaps it’s the stress of nobody wanting to buy what is ostensibly my retirement plan or my brother being a dick. Perhaps it’s just me worrying about what might rather than what will. Perhaps it's that without posting my in-box is almost empty. Perhaps it’s that shit always happens in small doses like a bathtub filling to the brim via a dripping tap and then one small, tiny, slow motion droplet breaks the surface tension and it all overflows.

Overflow it did. Last night I cried. Silent, gushing tears and a couple of little sobs which aren’t my usual style at all but I just couldn’t help it. I got into my car after a day’s work and lost the proverbial plot. I needed the cathartic release of pent up frustration to set me free and for a few moments, it felt awesomely good.

Even the dog doesn't want to go outside for more than a pee and a poo.

I’ve got that ‘need to be teary’ feeling again. Someone told me once, “Never mind love, you just go and have a good cry and you'll feel better!”  At least it clears the sinuses.

I’ll be honest, all three of us have the blues.  I wasn’t going to post it but since I rarely post, perhaps it will be as cathartic as last night’s sobs. I promise I'll buck up by tomorrow and an SMS from the wondering muse was very reassuring.

So there you are. Self indulgent whine with half the story. Yes, today I have the blues . . . but in 9 weeks, I'll have Paris!

This is a totally true and self-indulgent Theme Thursday post, I'm sure the others have a much more cheery offering!

Ahem!:    Immediately after posting this, I went out in the dark (because the electrician I live with has NOT repaired the lights in two years) to run up to the shops to buy some butter for a roux, clipped the car on one of the wooden car port supports, left a teensy scratch and have ripped my 1992 Honda plastic and brittle bumper bar from my car! Now tell me I'm whining!